"Maybe you should get a nose job."

While you were totes lovin Maui Fever, I was...also totes loving Maui Fever.

The Archduke pimp from the 18th century
Lindsey and I used to play MASH in 7th grade (read: 12th grade), and for Wedding Dress we’d always make one of the choices “thong and a cape.” I don’t think I ever specified, but I imagined the cape being leopard print, and that’s why I’m so glad that the 18th century pimp read my mind and made this video. It has everything I love--the aforementioned cape, asses, and far away eras.


How to clean a sponge (to the tune of that song from Grey’s anatomy)
Over here at 344 “silent animosity house,” our sponges start to smell like an amusing blend of old milk and mold after about two weeks. On that note, here’s how you can make your sponges not carry so many nasty e. coli diseases.

Attention Wesleyan Guys:
Sometimes we girls get tired of the same old ways guys try to talk to us. I mean come up with something original, am I right girls, am I right? Yes, you can get me a beer, no I do not want to see what a senior dorm room looks like. Ok, I do, and we know that. Bad example. But what I mean is, guys need to start coming up with better ways to get girls. They seem to be at a loss for how to seduce the fine women of Wesleyan…UNTIL NOW.


Reasons that Jeremy Piven is NOT, despite what you might think, turning into Ari Gold
1. Ari Gold is strangely attractive, whereas after seeing Jeremy Piven play Pilot-George on Seinfeld, I’m mildly repulsed by the idea of him.
2. Ari Gold is a fucking G. Jeremy Piven is not.
3. Ari Gold is fucking fabulous and would never be caught dead dressed like this.


Jamie Foxx, I hate you.
Shit like this just makes me mad. Like, OK, for example—when I go to the campus center, and I’m like “can I have a burrito with chicken, beans, and rice, but NO CHEESE,” they give me this look like bitch why don’t you like cheese, when really I’m actually making their lives easier by erasing the difficult and exhausting task of cheesing a burrito. But when Jamie Foxx requests special vodka at his concerts so he can pour it on the ladies in the crowd—which I’m sure they love, because who doesn’t want to have a man who is obsessed with himself pour alcohol on them, especially one with such a lovely rubbing alcohol aroma–everyone just thinks that’s great because Jamie is the man. What the fuck. I want to be the man. Note: I said the man, not a man.