While you all were watching American Idol and laughing at Paula Abdul’s interviews (my favorite Best Week Ever commentator joke so far—Nick Kroll doing his impression of Paula, all “I won ever single award ever!! Ughgj…I even won the puking in my mouth while dancing award…ughhh just won it again…” Maybe you had to be there.), I was finding some shit to put on this shit. Sick nasty, girls next door, omgzz, bla bla bla.
Holly’s (and my!!!!) dream come true!!!
Alright, as you may or may not know, I LOVE the show The Girls Next Door, like almost as much as I love Popeye’s and Pale Fire (hint hint boys—date night). If you don’t know the girls well, Kendra’s the sporty hip-hop loving one, Holly’s sort of the big sister/mom of the group, and Bridget is mildly re-re-ricardo and can’t shut up about her cat and the intricate ins and outs of its complex personality (Gizmo was really upset that I was away in Vegas for so long, but once I came home I made sure to cuddle her…). On the show, Holly talks a lot about hoping to settle down with Hef soon (blab la bla Hef is Old joke) WITHOUT him having other girls around (if you watch closely, you can see her face twitch with anger when she says stuff like this, but she represses it by smiling brightly, pushing her cleavage together, and petting a cockatoo). Well her dream might be coming true, and I am so happy.
"She certainly has my heart, so maybe she'll have my sperm too!" She’s going to get BOTH?!!?! Some girls get all the luck. I can only imagine a Christmas that glorious. Hint hint youtube posters, I smell a sperm in a box video...
Note: In the above dream, my dream is to watch holly and hef’s child grow old on national television, not to be the person who has the child with hef. That’s one of the ways Holly and I differ. Also, she’s in a polygamous relationship with an 80 year old man.
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